review: ninja assassin.

I finally went to see Ninja Assassin this past weekend. Don’t expect expert film making and don’t expect any attempt at factual accuracy. As well, contrary to what I was told the Wachowski brothers did not “make” this film, they were listed with 3 other “producers,” a vague Hollywood term that can mean all sorts of things. So don’t expect crazy Martix-like camera tricks and effects either. What you can expect is a ton of blood and a hell of a good time. My suggestion, see this on a Saturday night at a neighborhood theater where there’s likely to be a large youthful crowd so you can yell and laugh and “oh shit” as the ninja stars fly and the body parts drop.

lost opportunities

Like I said, don’t expect expert film making, this is a film for pure visceral enjoyment. There are plenty of plot holes and inconsistencies but why point them out? Where’s the fun in that? What I will mention however is a couple opportunities I think they missed in making a high budget ninja flick. For me the appeal of Ninja Assassin, and other movies of its ilk is in the high budget re-creation of low budget genre movies I used to love so much. The casting of the 80’s king of Ninja flicks, Sho Kusagi seemed to ensure this, but instead, at a couple points, the filmmakers decided to forgo this in favor of Hollywood convention.

This is most evident in two places, the invincibility/weakness of the Ninjas and the display of their skills. As to invincibility/weakness, this is a constant problem with Hollywood action flicks. You have a group of seemingly indestructibles (Ninjas, SEALs, Mercenaries, Shaolin monks, Zombies, etc) but when it’s time for the good guy (or main bad guy) to take them on, they drop like flies. It’s stupid and boring, make him fight for it. In one scene SPOILER AHEAD our guy has to kill some big oafish Bristish dude in a bathroom. It’s a fantastic long ultraviolent fight that he barley makes it out of alive. Literally the next scene our hero, soaked in his own blood is able to dispense with a dozen of his own elite fighting force in no time. What?!

The other loss is in the Ninja skill. Ninjas are the obsession of every red blooded American (and Japanese?) boy not only because of their fighting skills but also because of all the legend surrounding their preternatural abilities and cool weapons/tools: scaling walls, smoke bombs, mind control, silent movement, etc. You get a little of all this but not enough I mean can I get a smoke bomb please?! and when showing the Ninjas they just have shadows slide over the walls real quick and disappear- I wanna see dudes doing crazy shit like walking sideways up walls not just vanishing! And the training scenes, of which there are plenty are focused on the sadism of the master Ninja. Show them learning how to walk on water or dismember a body or make poisons or something.

final thoughts

Ninjas were real, they existed once upon a time and did do a lot of cool stuff, but their myth has obviously grown way out of proportion with reality. As a film subject they provide a great vehicle for indulging the extraordinary and at times debunking the seemingly impossible. Ninja Assassin focuses on the previous and does a good, fun job of it. You want mindless entertainment? Go see this is one. In the meantime, here are some fun Ninja links:

RealUltimatePower

Video interview with Master Ronald Duncan